U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
