Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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