My friends, they love my intelligence
even my farts smell like vagina
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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