He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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