Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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