So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
