Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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