It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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