Quick, to the slutcave!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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