Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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