A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh god it's open bar.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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