i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
