After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize