I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
