Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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