I wanna passion pit in your ass
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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