There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
