And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
