My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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