i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
this beer tastes like vomit already
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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