did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
