new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
