as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
please come you make the beer taste better
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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