nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
