Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
