I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
