Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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