You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
