the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
