So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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