My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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