Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
