she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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