Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
