so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize