Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
