Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
