I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
