Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
