Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
