She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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