just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I need help removing her.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
