This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize