Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
