Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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