She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
