we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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