I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize