i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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