You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
