fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
