Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
