Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
