Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
