I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
