I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
