they need to just BURY HIM!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
